Zend certified PHP/Magento developer

Unstable memory/mysql usage on 2.3.3, can’t find the issue

This is a regarding a Magento 2.3.3 running on Digital Ocean’s server 4GB memory droplet, which should be plenty as it is the only thing hosted on there. However, I have observed since upgrade to 2.3.3 from 2.3.0, there are some instability in memory usage which then leads to the site crashing with Varnish cache or http500 error during checkout. Memory limit for Magento is set to 3GB all around.

Below are the memory usage in the last 7 days:
7 days server memory graph

Normally the memory usage should be less than 1GB (not much traffic), however, I have notice there is a pattern where the memory would slowly build up to about 2GB, then something crashed and it falls back to the normal range and then the cycle repeats.

I have ran the htop command, which I find mysql is using majority of the memory and the connection time is more than an hour, not sure if this is normal. However, by restarting the mysql service, the memory would fall back to normal range, which is about
htop screenshot

Not sure exactly how to trouble shot this, so any help is appreciated!