Zend certified PHP/Magento developer

Ubuntu Server 14.04 upgraded 18.04 causing PHP7.2-fpm service to time out

I have a DigitalOcean droplet which experienced a variety of issues after a dist-upgrade. Most recently I tried reinstalling php7.2fpm and was greeted with this output:

invoke-rc.d: initscript php7.2-fpm, action "restart" failed.
● php7.2-fpm.service - The PHP 7.2 FastCGI Process Manager
   Loaded: loaded (/lib/systemd/system/php7.2-fpm.service; enabled; vendor preset: enabled)
   Active: failed (Result: timeout) since Wed 2023-11-01 15:55:34 EDT; 6ms ago
     Docs: man:php-fpm7.2(8)
  Process: 2717 ExecStart=/usr/sbin/php-fpm7.2 --nodaemonize --fpm-config /etc/php/7.2/fpm/php-fpm.conf (code=killed, signal=TERM)
 Main PID: 2717 (code=killed, signal=TERM)

Nov 01 15:54:04 meepmurp systemd[1]: Starting The PHP 7.2 FastCGI Process Manager...
Nov 01 15:55:34 meepmurp systemd[1]: php7.2-fpm.service: Start operation timed out. Terminating.
Nov 01 15:55:34 meepmurp systemd[1]: php7.2-fpm.service: Failed with result 'timeout'.
Nov 01 15:55:34 meepmurp systemd[1]: Failed to start The PHP 7.2 FastCGI Process Manager.

Actually a few reinstalls ago the service would start and work correctly and was only timing out at boot. Now I cannot start the service at all. It always times out. PHP-fpm itself generates no logs.